I don’t know why I came into this world. Throughout my life, I’ve had many perplexities for which I couldn’t find answers. On one hand, I have a deep love for the beauty of nature and all things wonderful. On the other hand, I feel remorse and sadness for my uncontrollable selfishness, desires, and greed. I sense that my mind is torn in countless directions, and I grow weary of constantly changing masks on my face, yet I can’t seem to remove this mask. I often feel profound sadness, loneliness, and despair, but I lack the courage to leave this world.

I frequently feel incredibly small, to the extent that I often can’t find myself. Simultaneously, I also feel immensely powerful, to the point where I constantly seek to understand what kind of world this truly is. I often yearn to open my eyes and witness this beautiful world, but all I see is darkness before me. I thirst to hear this world with my ears, yet I only hear the same unchanging sound. I often want to scream desperately, but my throat has long been severed.

Half a century of life has twisted and tormented me, yet I still long for a ray of light to shine into my world. I dream of flying freely like a bird, drifting like a cloud. How I yearn to paint a world filled with vibrant colors with my brush! I strive and struggle, stretching my hands towards the light I feel in my heart. That light sensed my longing and gave me countless inspiration and strength. It enabled me to create beautiful works of art.

These works of art have allowed me to understand the songs of birds, the sound of the wind, the patter of rain. They have shown me the beauty of rainbows and vibrant flowers. They have allowed me to communicate freely with this world, without any barriers, and they have consoled my wounds. They’ve given me new hope and direction.

我不知道我为什么会降临到这个世界,在我的生命过程中,我有很多的困惑无法找到答案。我一方面非常热爱美丽的大自然及一切美好的事务,我又一方面对我自已无法克制的自私、欲望、贪婪感到自责和难过,我感觉我的大脑有无数的力量向不同的方向撕扯,我厌倦了一个又一个面具在我的脸上频繁的更换,我却无法摘下这个面具,我时常会感到非常的悲伤、孤独和绝望,我却又没有勇气离开这个世界。我常常感觉自已非常的渺小,小到我常常无法找到我自已,我又常常感觉自已非常的强大,大到我常常想要搞明白这个世界到底是什么样的?我常常想要睁开眼睛看看这个美丽的世界,但是我的眼前却总是一片漆黑,我太渴望用我的耳朵听听这个世界了,但是我却总是只能听到同一种不变的声音,我常常想要拼命的呐喊,可是我的喉管却早已被割断,半个世纪的生命历程,已经让我变得非常的扭曲和不堪,但我仍然渴望一束光可以照进我的世界,我想像鸟一样自由的的飞,我想像云一样自由的漂,我多么渴望自已可以用画笔画出五彩缤纷的美好的世界的模样,我努力的挣扎,拼命的把我的一双手伸向我心中感受到的光的方向,那束光感受到了我的渴望,那束光给了我无数的灵感和力量,让我完成了一幅幅美丽的作品,这些作品让我听懂了鸟鸣、风声、雨声……让我看见了美丽的彩虹和鲜艳的花朵…..让我可以没有任何障碍的与这个世界倾诉和交流,这一幅幅作品抚慰了我的创伤,也给了我新的希望和方向!